Showing posts from December, 2022

Why our relationship with self is key to everything in our lives

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ― Carl R. Rogers  I ask most of my clients at some stage: "So, how is your relationship with yourself?" Sometimes I get a quizzical look. Or a "What do you mean?". Or "Okay I guess". But when really examined, it turns out that many people have a rather negative relationship with self. Do any of the following ring true for you? Being a habitual perfectionist Constantly critical of self Saying mean things to yourself when you make a human error; things that you wouldn't say to others Unable to celebrate your achievements Find criticism from others excruciating Put others' needs above your own or don't even factor in your needs Find it difficult to say no Questionable self care or work/life balance It's all very well coming along to address your work/life balance or looking at how you manage your team, but it's going to be incredibly hard to shift those hab

Burnout, vicarious trauma and professional supervision

Burnout  Sometimes our situation, whether in work or personal lives, can lead to us feeling burnt out. My clients describe it in a number of ways such as feeling tired and flat all the time, struggling to enthuse about life, feeling overwhelmed or simply as losing one's mojo. There are parallels with depression and certainly, prolonged burnout can lead to depression. There is an article on my therapy site I wrote several years ago on depression about how it can signal that something needs to change. It might be that we need to consider changing our working patterns, or areas of burden and responsibility in our lives. Or up the self-care. Or learn to say no (more about managing boundaries here ). Some of us may have burnout because we are caring for a relative with a terminal illness, end of life, or a life changing injury, illness (physical or mental; acute or chronic) or medical procedure. This is a lot to carry on our shoulders and whilst, understandably, the focus is on the per