~ Relationship Coaching and Counselling
Therapeutic Coaching for Relationships
I have moved towards using the term therapeutic coaching for couples work as I feel that this reflects the dynamic in which I work with couples. I have worked with couples (not just romantic couples but other forms of partnerships such as parent/child, siblings, business partners etc) since completing specific relationship training in 2015. Please be aware that working with couples is very different to working with individuals and requires specialist training.
Relationship coaching is about listening to and holding two individuals' reality but the focus is on the relationship itself. Maybe it is from being one of six siblings, perhaps having dealt with my parents' incredibly traumatic and protracted divorce when I was 13, or maybe just an innate sense of fairness and the ability to mediate, that means that I feel confident in this work and find it immensely rewarding. I am pluralistic in outlook which means that I am able to genuinely see different perspectives and respect them at the same time (with the exception of abusive behaviour) and with effective communication can help coach couples into communicating with each other more effectively. I draw upon Imago Theory, Transactional Analysis, The Gottman Method and NonViolent Communication as frameworks to assist in this endeavour.
Not just for relationships in crisis...
Relationship therapy is often seen as something to turn to when in crisis, as a last chance resort. I am hopeful that we are moving to a cultural shift towards seeing the value in attending relationship coaching sessions as a way to prevent crisis point from ever occurring. I am seeing more partnerships who see it as more of an MOT.
Therapeutic Coaching Together
I also see some couples or partnerships where the work is not about the relationship itself, but that each person sees the benefit of doing joint sessions, to work as a team on individual or shared challenges. This work can be very efficient and incredibly powerful.
Sex
For most romantic couples, sex and other forms of physical intimacy are an important part of the connection. It is seen by some as the glue that holds the relationship together. Our sex lives can be impacted by all sorts of things such as having kids, issues around fertility and hormones, as well as illness, medications and psychological issues that may impact on libido. Sometimes, sex can be impacted by the dynamic that has emerged that might have led to a feeling of disconnection. Whilst I am not a sex therapist, frank conversations about matters such as these can really help get to the bottom of what's really going on. When we feel disconnected then small things can begin to really annoy us, sex can go out of the window and a vicious circle can take hold. Sex is such a taboo subject and it is completely normal for couples to be able to talk about anything but...sex. Usually there is a sense of relief when it finally gets addressed.
LGTBQIA+ friendly
My clients find me open-minded and non-judgmental. I work with same-sex couples as well as couples with a more progressive configuration eg ethical non-monogamy. Sometimes the work can be about discussing boundaries around emerging matters around sexuality and gender expression.
Navigating Business Partnerships: Restoring Trust and Connection
In the world of business partnerships; initial sparks of chemistry, energy, and trust can gradually fade, giving way to evolving dynamics that push individuals down divergent paths. Similar to romantic relationships, business partnerships require ongoing nurturing and understanding. As a relational coach specialising in business partnerships; I guide individuals through the intricate dance of professional collaboration. Trust, once shaken, can be rebuilt through targeted coaching interventions that reconnect partners with the foundational elements that initially drew them together.
Addressing the dynamics together, rather than individually, requires courage, but it fosters improved communication and mutual understanding. After all, this partnership was formed because the individuals believed in the strength of their teamwork.
Harmonising Love and Work: Cultivating Balance in Dual Partnerships
When romantic couples choose to intertwine their personal and professional lives, unforeseen challenges may arise, impacting both realms. Couples may underestimate the potential strain, risking the harmony of their personal and professional relationships. I assist couples in establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life. Through negotiation and collaboration, we develop strategies that preserve the integrity of both realms without compromising the security of either. By acknowledging and addressing the unique challenges of working together as a couple, partners can create a supportive environment that enhances their personal and professional lives.
Structure of sessions
I tend to see couples for weekly or fortnightly sessions. It is important to be able to commit to regular sessions or it can be difficult to gain traction in the process. I would typically see a couple together for one session, then see each person for one session each to lean into their perspective, then subsequent sessions are with both. The individual sessions are a space to discuss issues to be brought to the joint sessions and not a place to disclose issues or secrets that are to be withheld from the other partner. Providing a neutral space is crucial to the integrity of this work.
LGBTQI+ friendly Senior Accredited EMCC Practitioner
